Baking Disasters – Life Disasters

A comment on Twitter today (you know who you are) about Mummybloggers and I suppose bloggers in general made me stop and think.

Mummybloggers are “tweeeeeee” and full of “oh, I cooked this cake today crap”.

I guess she is right. We do present ourselves in a good light. Just as we sort though the holiday snaps, discarding the pics in which we look like Moby Dick, we discard projects that don’t turn out very well. Most of us bloggers have baked, cooked or made things that have been utterly shit. Or have spent a day telling readers how to be a great parent, only to run out of energy and patience with our own children.

Expat bloggers tend to waffle on about the exciting and exotic place they are living, they recount tales of the sweet old guy in the village who takes his cat to the cemetery to “visit” his late wife, they take photos of stunning sunsets and snowcapped mountains.

What we don’t tell you is the nights when we lie awake worrying if we have done the right thing. The frustration at not being able to remember how to pronounce the number 15 on the phone to the guy from the payage. The times when the school phones to say that something is wrong with the children and we are unable to understand properly what is wrong, and it if is a “feeling a bit poorly and want to go home to sit on the couch” situation, or A&E.

We neglect to tell you when we are feeling proper homesick, we keep our sorrow to ourselves when we miss family parties – or worse family funerals. We paper over the cracks of our life, cause no one wants to read a miseryblog.

While I am not saying that I hate it here, and want to go hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooome, sometimes I do not enjoy life here and sometimes I bake or cook something that doesn’t work. I haven’t really shared the failures with my readers, so I guess you have been getting a MmeLindor-lite.

So, to balance all the saccharine, here is a tale of scones that were more suitable to be used as hockey pucks than served for afternoon tea.

It was Sunday. We had planned a day at home, sitting in the garden, going for a walk, later to the beach. All very idyllic and pleasant. I decided to make some scones. I am rather proud of my scones. The recipe has never failed me and I am often complimented on my light and fluffy scones. Since I had been intending to blog about them for some time, I took some photos of the process. Sift flour into bowl, add butter and mix till it resembles breadcrumbs, add sugar and milk until the mixture comes together. Cut out and bung on baking tray.

Feeling smug, I popped them into the oven and checked on them 10 minutes later. Hmm. Not risen very well. Not at all actually. Ok, give them another two minutes and pray to the Patron Saint of Baking St Elisabeth of Hungary (honest, I checked).

Well, St Elisabeth failed me and she failed my scones. Thanks Lizzie. Thanks for NOTHING.

They languish since then in the sweetie box along side packets of cough sweets and old chewy lollipops that no one wants.

To make up for it, I will post a truly wonderful recipe for lamb tomorrow, so watch this space.

Bloggers – reveal yourselves. What have you not posted about because it was a disaster, that you would have posted about if it had gone well?


  • Jane

    Found you via Twitter. I’m far more likely to post about things that have gone wrong as I think (my readers might not agree) that they are funnier – or at least I find it easier to say ooh look, I am being all self deprecating. If things are going right I tend to come over a bit smug.

    • MmeLindor

      It is difficult to get the balance between reporting on something that has gone well and tipping over into smugdom, isn’t it?

  • imperfectpages

    This is interesting to me as a ‘mummy blogger’ as I often post about things going badly – about my two-year-old causing havoc in the local co-op to me feeling pretty bloody depressed – and it’s often that sort of post that gets the biggest and most supportive response. I’ve read a lot of mummy blogs and yes, I like the cupcakes, craft an sunshine ones, but I also like the gritty, real, opinionated and topical ones. Theres an awful lot of talent out there.

    Having said that, I also do a family food blog, and have had a couple of big fails (casseroles with watery sauce…) but my worst flaw as a food blogger is forgetting to take photos of the meals!

    • MmeLindor

      I often take photos of the beginning of the cooking or baking process and forget to record the final product. When we are half-way though eating, I remember but then I doubt anyone would like to see my half eaten plate of food. Good to find some more “imperfect” bloggers.

  • Michelle

    Maybe I have been getting it wrong. I only blog about disasters! Perhaps I should commit to one happy post a month to give some light relief.
    Somebody else commented on twitter recently that they always got a much bigger response to a sad post than a happy one and she found this somewhat frustrating.
    Is interesting to think about.

    • MmeLindor

      I wonder why that is, that sad posts get more responses. Perhaps it is simply that people try to commiserate and cheer up a person who is having a hard time. If things go well, then you are deemed not to be in need of support.

    • Anonymous

      Hmm, I replied to you on Disqus and the comments are not showing up here. That is a pain. Will have to check the settings.

  • Jo

    Although i fall in to the ‘mummy blogger’ catagorey i can’t bake for toffee (and i’m not great at craft related things either). I even manage to mess up those boxed cake mixes. Every so often i think to myself that i’ll just have another try, i am completely hopeless, i don’t even know how they turn out so wrong !
    My SIL’s baking is epic however, very frustrating lol.
    I cook extremely well, i’m always very pleased with how my starters or mains turn out, i love cooking everything from traditional roasts to caribbean dishes, but cakes, muffins, scones…just don’t turn out πŸ™
    The children and husband all find it very funny, and i laugh along but secretly i’m always a bit gutterd.
    My mum has tried teaching me, but even after her showing me, mine still come out differently !
    I have given up trying to bake now and i’m turning my hand to killing things in the garden instead, by which i mean gardening, or attempting to.
    On the topic of happy or sad blogs i don’t have a preference and it doesn’t influence if i comment or not. I generally just comment if a post strikes a chord with me and if i find i have 5 minutes that day
    Look forward to reading your lamb recepie πŸ™‚

    • Anonymous

      I never baked when we lived in Germany but do all the time here because I can get the ingredients. I think that baking is more difficult because you have to follow the recipe, whereas when you cook you can get away with a bit of substitution. My biggest problem is getting halfway through a recipe and then discovering that I don’t have enough flour/butter/eggs, and then having to wing it.

      Damn. The lamb recipe. I forgot I promised that. πŸ˜‰

  • Clare

    You need a mixture. I read blogs for inspiration, the excitement of discovering new ideas and ambitions from people who are far more creative and talented than I am. But I also read for consolation – the sense of not being alone, that other peoples lives are also crazy, chaotic and a little bit out of control.

    Came over from MN – will be bookmarking πŸ™‚

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